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I'm well into my 28th year of marriage to a worship leader, and for those near 3 decades of marriage and faith I have always dreaded the worship time, the only exception being the 10 years that I played the drums on the team. Not long after my wife and I were married I sang her a love song while playing the guitar, The First Time We Met Is A Favorite Memory Of Mine by Merle Haggard. When I was done, my wife, who has played piano by ear since she was 4, expressed sincere amazement. She wondered if it was even possible for her to do what I had just done even if she tried real hard. My feat? I had sang the song in one key and played it in another.

I had been playing the guitar for probably 10 years before I realized that I couldn't sing and I realized that I couldn't sing about 30 years ago now. I listen to very little music, and about a year ago I began to seek ways to skip the singing time at church, a thing I have always endured except, as I said, for the times I played the drums. I've wondered, given that the Bible never prescribes what is now the global order of service: 4 songs, announcements, preaching, how that order ever came to be and if it is even necessary.

I've been reading your stuff for probably about 10 years, and I'm glad to hear of your conversion. My question is, did your conversion change your attitude at all about the worship time? Or, put another way, is something wrong with me?

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I still skip worship service! It has the opposite effect on me — almost always like water on a cat. The old hymns are almost the only thing I enjoy. Hang in there. It’s a trial of endurance. Christians are just in a really bad place culturally and most men are just afraid to say so. The music in heaven will be better.

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Since I learned that I am somewhat tone deaf, even though I have longed achingly to sing, I dare not. One of my favorite Bible vs. is Rev 5:12 where it says "...they gang in a loud voice". I was thinking of that as I read your post on NDE, and post BTW that will keep me thinking for a very long time. Thank you.

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If you like the NDE essay, be sure to check out Imagine Heaven! An absolute trip — changed the way I view God drastically

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